Body: Health Bother Hospital

I get to take a day off from my life.
I get a hospital bed,
a 12 hour fast,
full anesthesia,
tea toast and an army of people
wheeling me,

So I get a day off to contemplate

prodding me,
asking me questions.

Pain is what started this,
sharp, strong and getting worse over time.
I'm not used to complaints
so I do and say nothing
get on with my life
until one morning
there is no energy
to get up.

A string of dates for:
blood, urine, ultrasounds
and physical examinations
come up with nothing
but there are words:
cancer, hysterectomy,
ovaries, polyps,
meno-pause, HRT
they ring loud and clear.

So I get to take a day off
to contemplate what is, was, will be,
won't, might, could and maybe
already is.
A day to be aware of how mortal I am.

A day to be aware of how mortal I am

Body: Feet and the wonders of Olive and Jasmine essential oil

Feet

A bowl of warm water, Olive oil, Jasmine oil
and tired well worn feet :)

There is so little that can be said to do them justice.

I'm grateful to have them carry me, balance me, move me.

I like their shape but never really look. And when I do - look - like this morning, I feel bad for them, I owe them a treat.

There's nothing in the bathroom that looks like foot-anything so the kitchen it is.

I find:

Olive oil and a tiny bottle of Jasmine essential oil.


Olive Oil is perfect for feet because it is a nourishes the skin and has anti-inflammatory properties as well as anti microbial benefits. Meaning that if my feet have any problems like: dry or hardened skin, or open blisters it will soften, feed and heal them.

Jasmine Essential oil I choose because it is a cicatrisant, in other words it makes scars and stretch-marks while also being an anti-sceptic and especially good for dry and flakey skin. Another reason I'm attracted to it is because it also is an emmenagogue which means it can help with period regulation, onset of menopause and painful periods.

I mix a good slosh of Olive oil into water that is not too hot but nice and warm and add some five drops of the Jasmine essential oil. I sit with my feet in the warm water, smelling the Southern hemisphere, warm...

... ... ...

After their Olive and Jasmine essential oil bath, smiling,
smooth and clean 

When the water has cooled I clean my nails and cut them. The warm water has made the nails and cuticles soft and the pores are open.

I don't dry my feet but rather massage the oil into the always hungry feet and lower legs while still damp.

I have to say it was so easy, cost me nothing and felt great!

Body: Spring has sprung and I see and feel my body!

    

I squint into it walking home.

There is light again.

I squint into it walking home.

Blue skies, birdsong,

In my mind's eye I stretch, bend

make possible

do, create 

enjoy, hold strong, am able.

But in this light I feel all.

I am strong, flexible, able

and there is light again

The neck betrays the crow in me

the woman waiting within

my grandmother's

elongated cheeks.

My shape betraying waning fertility

even if I like the comfort of covering my limbs

it has to be said is obvious.

There is light again.

I see the thinness of my skin

through the dust on the looking glass.

In my minds eye I pass through

deserts and mountainous lands

to fulfill dreams and potential.

through the dust on the looking glass

In my mind's eye...

potential and now, to do, to engage, to see, to not hide.

To deal with, to be kind yet persistent

strong without force.

To overcome every obstacle when possible

All in time.


And for now:

Do, did, done... ...

My neck betrays the crow in me

I am strong, flexible, able

and there is light again

a stretch

a little every day.

Anja Bakker