Body: Health on seeing calves in a slaughter truck

(Hum to: Come All Ye Maidens Young and Fair...)

Meat it is a precious thing
and meat brings all things to my mind
meat with all it flavours
along with all its joys
meat brings all things to my mind.

Babies really
right, wrong,
snouts too small
wry words
cliches
stop my feet

Responsible
ownership
crates or not
I'll own my own
do my do
to own what I do
do what I own
see that:

Meat it is a precious thing
and meat brings all things to my mind
meat with all its flavours
along with all its joys
meat brings all things to my mind.

Body: Grandmother's hair and Argan Oil

Dealz Aragon Oil hair treatment €1.49

My father always used to say:
'Be proud of your hair,
there aren't many with hair like us.'
Thin like a spiderweb's thread,
straight with a kink to the right,
light with an auburn hue
that made my grandmother money
before the war.

'The hairdresser paid her to sit
with her hair displayed in his window
as she read magazines and gossiped with her friends.'

Halfway through life
I'd have to agree.
The inherited hair
has served me well
and suits me fine.
But it does need love
so now and then.
Like now;
I've cut it
but not enough
and it keeps being hard to comb.

'Argan Oil,' the child suggests.
So when in Dealz trying to find
little bits to make me feel better
about life and it's challenges
I find a small bottle saying:

I wash, towel dry and then
massage...

Argan Oil, hair treatment.

A 50ml bottle for €1.49 seems like a good deal(z)
and as per the instructions
I wash
towel dry
and then massage
the Argan Oil
into my hair.
Not from the scalp outward
but from those dodgy ends in.

The comb glides,
the hair shines.
And I smile as my friend
compliments me on how well it looks.
'So healthy, so shiny.
Who do you go to?
What did you do?
My colouring alone is costing me a fortune!'

I leave her ramble
my hair has no hairdresser friend
who wants to display it in his window.
I've got a little bottle
and a budget of under a cup of coffee.

I'm proud of my Recession Kitchen hair
as would my grandmother be.

Family: Gratitude, On: walk mind and thinking feet

feel from feeling

I love walking, doing, movement ... I like to think of life as a place of constant change. Walking helps me to see, to know, to connect and to flow. Doing makes me see solutions and find answers. Movement helps me to keep perspective.

I am blessed in many ways, I have luck galore and the Universe trends to smile when I'm around. Too often I take all of the above for granted and so I hereby would like to express my gratitude, for all of it: the opportunities, the chances, the caring, the love, the wonderful helpers, mentors, teachers, angels, saints, ghosts, fairies, gut, the random, the hope, the success, the diversions, the signs, all that and all that doesn't come to mind straight away... Thank you!

The Promise

Walk mind over heels

Walk mind over heels
through thought wishes
thinking thank words
thanking, thank you

Do daily
do from
freedom felt
feel from
feeling, felt belong

Adventure
follow get
follow do
follow wish
follow thought
follow felt

make all mine
take all get
let legs and
and thinking footsteps
run
so felt
thought
wish and do
get adventure
as advertised.

legs and thinking footsteps

Food: Tagliatelli Carbonara, Italian comfort

I see: 

no egg

no egg I say...

The egg makes it

when taken

set aside 

I see: no egg, no egg I say

waiting

Just after the Tagliatelli

waded through mushroom

creamy flesh

silken soaked 

in heated cream.

Al dente cooked dough

crunchy salted fat

succulent coated

black pepper pig

and the egg

stirred at last

the end

into it

before consumption 

even serving

after fire

is cooking like heating

is comfort like no other

the egg 

the egg I say

makes it.

House: That Spare Room, Making Space

There's nowhere for knees under the table

There's a table which can be used as a desk.
Who do I want to be?
Yes, clothes.
What do I want to be?
Notes from college.
How do I want to express me?
Baby-book, photo's. Unused instruments.

Spare mattresses: a couch.

Are you afraid?
CD's, paperwork, stacks upon stacks.

First, make space to get in and out.
No, no fear.
Room on the floor.
No need to search.
Spare mattresses: a couch.
Just say, sing, play.
Like in the old days.
Be.
There's nowhere for knees under the table.

The instruments like living together.
Let go of belief and known.
If I take some time.
Be open, intuitive.
To become all I think I can.
Feel the road.
In front of the unsorted clothes and paper.
Put feet down.
It's not can't, we just don't.


Move forward, walk.

The instruments like living tohgether

House: Spare Room

Spare Room

Hurdy-Gurdy in need of repair and memories

We have a spare room.

A room without belonging 

without purpose.

It was different at first.

When we moved here
it was a bedroom.

My bedroom.

North-facing small.

Uncomfortable with too much space
- Im a city girl after all -
I left the big room empty.

Luggage, clothes...

I grew into it.

The room, the house.

The big bedroom
with view
is now boudoir

There is carpet, curtains, space.

And the small room
is now filled with
leftovers from periods gone by
things kept, saved.

Luggage, clothes,
CD's, books, notes, bedding.

It needs a purpose,
something to do
that spare room.

That spare room of mine.

I'm a city girl after all

Body: Feet and the wonders of Olive and Jasmine essential oil

Feet

A bowl of warm water, Olive oil, Jasmine oil
and tired well worn feet :)

There is so little that can be said to do them justice.

I'm grateful to have them carry me, balance me, move me.

I like their shape but never really look. And when I do - look - like this morning, I feel bad for them, I owe them a treat.

There's nothing in the bathroom that looks like foot-anything so the kitchen it is.

I find:

Olive oil and a tiny bottle of Jasmine essential oil.


Olive Oil is perfect for feet because it is a nourishes the skin and has anti-inflammatory properties as well as anti microbial benefits. Meaning that if my feet have any problems like: dry or hardened skin, or open blisters it will soften, feed and heal them.

Jasmine Essential oil I choose because it is a cicatrisant, in other words it makes scars and stretch-marks while also being an anti-sceptic and especially good for dry and flakey skin. Another reason I'm attracted to it is because it also is an emmenagogue which means it can help with period regulation, onset of menopause and painful periods.

I mix a good slosh of Olive oil into water that is not too hot but nice and warm and add some five drops of the Jasmine essential oil. I sit with my feet in the warm water, smelling the Southern hemisphere, warm...

... ... ...

After their Olive and Jasmine essential oil bath, smiling,
smooth and clean 

When the water has cooled I clean my nails and cut them. The warm water has made the nails and cuticles soft and the pores are open.

I don't dry my feet but rather massage the oil into the always hungry feet and lower legs while still damp.

I have to say it was so easy, cost me nothing and felt great!

House: Kitchen, Moving away from the old

I don't like stuff much, and stuff on work surfaces
makes me ugh...

They say the kitchen is the centre of the home.

We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment in the Kinkerbuurt in Amsterdam.

The galley kitchen was separate from the other rooms. With in it just enough space for one person.

Mum.

There's nothing like doing the dishes to
make me feel good

Now the kitchen is mine.

Things are done a certain way.

When children, gardeners or others use it I can't help but be territorial.

Now, I've decided I'm letting go.

I'll clean up the mess and worry about it no more.

I'm not to do anything after anybody doing something in the kitchen ...

I'm moving my workspace upstairs.

The best feeling: clear and clean worktops

I do dishes, worktops, grill, stove, fridge and floor.

I look at it and feel good.

Wipe down cupboards.

Rinse the espresso pot.

I know how to have it like this always.

And finally a sink unobscured and clean!

I'm loving you kitchen!

I'm loving you like you've never been loved before.

I'm hugging and kissing you and making you feel good.

I'll clean tops of the cupboards, wash out shelves and under the sink.

I'll even clean the lamp and maybe give the extractor a wash and change...


You wait and see. This kitchen will stay pristine!

Body: Spring has sprung and I see and feel my body!

    

I squint into it walking home.

There is light again.

I squint into it walking home.

Blue skies, birdsong,

In my mind's eye I stretch, bend

make possible

do, create 

enjoy, hold strong, am able.

But in this light I feel all.

I am strong, flexible, able

and there is light again

The neck betrays the crow in me

the woman waiting within

my grandmother's

elongated cheeks.

My shape betraying waning fertility

even if I like the comfort of covering my limbs

it has to be said is obvious.

There is light again.

I see the thinness of my skin

through the dust on the looking glass.

In my minds eye I pass through

deserts and mountainous lands

to fulfill dreams and potential.

through the dust on the looking glass

In my mind's eye...

potential and now, to do, to engage, to see, to not hide.

To deal with, to be kind yet persistent

strong without force.

To overcome every obstacle when possible

All in time.


And for now:

Do, did, done... ...

My neck betrays the crow in me

I am strong, flexible, able

and there is light again

a stretch

a little every day.

Anja Bakker